Nemacolin Golf Resort

Nemacolin Golf Resort review by the best golf blog

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Farmington, PA

Hotel: Nemacolin Woodlands Resort

Courses:

Mystic Rock

The Links

Review

Wiz: Nemacolin is a unique if not quirky resort. With the eastern BFE location, you'd better bring your own after dark entertainment. Interestingly, you must be in a car to buy alcohol. Drive thru beer stands are the only way to get your suds to go. Go figure.

Our group opted for a rental house rather than hotel rooms. A large home with ample areas for socializing and a large deck with a hot tub proved to be better suited for a group trip than seperate hotel rooms.

Mystic Rock golf course contains sculptures throughout the course. I am not sure whether the course was built to house the sculptures or the sculptures were procured to adorn the course. I believe you get college credit in art history for playing a round-The Louvre of golf courses.

10kk: If you are on a 'Buddy Trip" and it rains you have two choices: either drink heavily or play in the rain. Rain play is not in my top 10 things to do. Wet clubs and "cart path only" in a torrential downpour is not my idea of a good time.

Fortunately, Nemacolin offered an alternative, The Hummer Driving School. I have always loved "off road" driving ; however, the thought of damaging a $25-30,000 truck just to have a little fun just isn't going to happen.

Wiz: The Hummer Driving School is a lowbrow version of the Greenbrier's Range Rover program. The Range Rover is a refined, luxurious vehicle and driving it is akin to ballroom dancing with Audrey Hepburn, while the Hummer is like taking Rosanne Barr to Stuckey’s. It was loud and rough but, more than willing to tackle the rough terrain in a monsoon like downpour.

10kk: As the rain came down in buckets, The Wiz and I decided to "head for the hills". Pennsylvania coal country, flooding rains and an $80,000 diesel H1 Hummer are the things that dreams are made of. The instructor in the passenger's seat, 10kk @ the wheel and The Wiz in the rear. The Wiz and I had already had several "liquid motivators" deciding whether to spend the money to take the Hummer or play in the flooding rain . What a rush it was driving this army beast. As The Wiz got behind the wheel, we climbed up the side of an incredibly steep mountain. A river of mud was rushing all around us. The thought of sliding off the flooded incline was quickly overshadowed by....

Wiz: ....flames lapping out of the gaps in the hood. The instructor remained calm and instructed us to exit the vehicle while he extinguished the fire. 10kk refused to leave fearing his loafers would be ruined by the mud. You wouldn’t want your charred corpse to have dirty shoes would you?

10kk: I "calmly" stayed put. I know little about physics but, I did remember that diesel fuel has a much higher "flash point" than gas. That combined with the fact that I was in no mood for water hiking gave me confidence to remian inside the fiery beast. I had already passed on water golfing.

Wiz: Once outside, the instructor asked me to pull the hood release lever. I did but, the hood refused to open and he asked me to pull it harder. Like King Arthur and the sword in the stone, I gave it a mighty pull and extracted the entire lever from the dashboard. As I held the lever and attached shaft in the air to show that it was now fully disengaged, the instructor discovered the secondary hood release and extinguished the flames.

At this point you would think a backup vehicle would be in order. No, I was told to start'er up. To my surprise it did start. The instructor suggested we cut the lesson short and head back. I had no problem piloting the potential IED back post haste. The driving school has switched to Jeep vehicles since our visit. Hmmmmm.....I wonder why?

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